Friday, February 19, 2010

Finished on a sad note

Here's a venting one.
My old best friend did me a serious wrong.  I was very hurt by it.  Then I was willing to forgive her for everything.  I just needed an apology.  A "I'm sorry I hurt you".  Something to acknowledge that what she did wasn't right.  But unfortunately, my needed this, and her unwillingness, and her desire to defend the others that hurt me, ended our friendship.  Since then, I've tried to mend things with her, trying to make her understand, to see.  Finally I lowered myself to even just trying to apologize.  Nothing worked.  A close friendship, ended in ashes.  And for what?  Something I was willing to forgive.  I look back, and have started thinking, well I should have just apologized, and not been upset about it.  But then I realize, NO!  I am an awesome person that does NOT deserve to be hurt, blamed, or treated like dirt; and if someone IS treating me that way, I deserve to get OUT of that kind of hurtful relationship.  Is it hard?  Hell yes.  Is it worth it?  I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but I hope so.  
What brought all this on?  It was her birthday, and she got on her husband's facebook account.  (She deleted me from hers long ago).  Here's our short chat:
Sheraya
Is this really you?
Her
Nope.
Sheraya
oh
who?
Her
Who would it be?
his wife
Sheraya
And who ever you are, do you know if ... and ... got all the pictures of cli?
*cali
oh
...
How are you?
Her
and yes.
Sheraya
Do you wantme to stop talking to you?
good i'm glad
Her
yes
Sheraya
even though they aren't great pictures, i still want you to have your engagement pictures, they're important
oh. okay.
Her
I got them
Sheraya
welll happy birthday
and...I won't try to talk to you anymore.
but i hope things go well for you
Her
whatever
Sheraya
im sad about how things ended up
Her
ok you can stop talking
Sheraya
ok



I think I full right to be hurt and angry.  I DID NOTHING WRONG!  Unless attempting to protect myself is wrong.  Is that what friendships are about???  Letting people hurt you and walk all over you, just for the good times? I don't think so.  Maybe I'm in my own little world...but I like to think that a friendship has mutual respect and love.  Even though there may be fights, both sides are willing to work to get over them to progress in the relationship.  Is my view of how things should be wrong!?  

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