Thursday, February 18, 2010

What to write today?  Well, I have had two rehearsals for the play I'm in, Measure for Measure, I am playing Mistress Overdone.  It's a fun role to play, but unfortunately a lot of my lines were cut.  I don't feel like complaining about that though.
This week I have continued to realize how much I rely on my boyfriend on a day to day basis.  He is on a buisness trip to Orlando, Florida and I have been unable to talk to him.  This week has been stressful with rehearsals starting, and it feels like there is no end in sight.  I won't be going home this weekend, and that always makes things look a little more bleak.  I keep realizing how much those weekend visits help me make it through the week here.  I don't know if that is because I'm clingy or if that's just where I feel my support system is; but either way, its difficult to be away.  As my good friend puts it, its hard because we're "always saying goodbye".  Her honey has been deployed for a long time, and is very understanding to my feelings about being away from my sweetie.  It's nice to have someone who can understand what I'm going through and not make me feel like a wimp for wanting to go home so much.  Side-note, she would be an awesome roommate, and that may be an option some day soon, maybe.
Another thought that keeps coming to my head today...its my old best friend's (how else am I supposed to refer to her?) birthday.  We had planned on going dancing, since that's what we did for my other friend's birthday.  I find that my thoughts turn to people more than extra on their birthdays, and today is no exception.  But interestingly enough, I've found that thinking of her doesn't bring as much pain as it used to, even a few weeks ago.  Just a dull sadness; and that's okay.  Letting go is a process.
I'm watching "a baby story" on TV right now, avoiding finishing cleaning my room; and its quite precious.  I can look to the future and be excited to have a baby, knowing what an amazing experience it will be; but know that I am completely unready to be a mother right now.  I see my friends that have babies and can respect that they may be ready, but know that I'm not.  Not that I am in the position to even think about having one right now.  But, there you go, random thoughts.
I think I need pictures in my blog, but don't know quite what to post.  Not ones of friends, to respect their privacy, but not just random ones.
I suppose I should stop avoiding work, now that I've let a few thoughts flow.  Sorry if this is boring, but don't expect me to write to appease the reader, after all, it is a sort of a journal :).

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