Sorry guys, I don't have time to write...will catch up sometime soon!
May 17, 2010
The other day, my friend asked me if I wanted to go to California with her. I said yes and began to ask questions upon questions; “when are we leaving”, “what are we doing for food?”, “where are we going?”. I thought these were pretty okay questions, but my friend thought I was trying to over plan. This took me by surprise; I mean I know I over plan things, but I thought figuring things out for trips was a good thing.
So I started thinking, I must have high Uncertainty Avoidance. In class, we talked about it being a cultural thing, but I wonder why some people (like me) have a higher amount than others, of the same culture. I don’t know that I feel threatened by unsure situations, it just makes me feel like I am more in control and its less stressful if things are planned. It gives me a high sense of accomplishment when I plan something and it goes as I planned. So why within one culture are there different levels of Uncertainty Avoidance. Maybe each little family is their own little culture, and within a town there are similar cultures that make up a big culture.
May 17, 2010
Yesterday, my boyfriend and I really meshed, the way we used to. Before I moved, we could talk to each other openly and honestly, and we could work our problems out face to face. Since I have come to Price, our relationship has become so much harder, I think it’s because we rely on the physical presence of the other. Being able to see facial expressions, body language, and the inflection of the voice makes a huge difference. When we were together pre move, we never fought, and we just enjoyed each other’s company. After I moved to college, we felt like we had to cram a week into two days, when we would get to see each other, and we would fight, because we had expectations of the other that needed to be changed (as we had changed with the move). Our relationship has been getting better and better, and yesterday seemed the epidemy (sp?) of that “getting better”. We spent the day together, shopping and doing dumb little tasks. In the evening we were able to just talk, on and on about nothing in particular, just holding each other. I really missed that.
It was really nice for me to be able to drop all my masks and just talk and be with someone. Sometimes I feel like I have to be so strong and tough and accomplished on the outside, when I really want to just chill and be normal. I think my boyfriend helps me do that. I am really glad that I have found someone that I am comfortable enough with to have that kind of relationship.
May 18, 2010
I am running out of things to talk about in my journal, whether I am talking to less people or whether the “newness” of the journal and the plethora of ideas is waning, I do not know; so I am going to take today’s journals out of communication I observed on TV.
Tonight on Glee Will Shoester is presented from a man from his past, Brian Ryan. A man he never felt like he leveled up to; “he dated every girl I liked, and got every solo”. The man always one up-ed him in high school.
I think this is a good example of both Social Comparison and Reflected Appraisal. Will obviously compares himself to this guy all through high school, knocking down his own self worth the whole time. Meanwhile, Brian is also giving ample Reflected Appraisal, saying rude things to him through high school and even when they re-meet when they are adults. This had an obvious (its TV so it has to be obvious) effect on Will’s self image and thus his self concept, both in high school and carrying into his adult life.
May 19, 2010
I am going to keep talking about this communication with this friend at the restaurant. It was a long encounter so I found many instances of things that we talked about in class. As I said, she really wanted to talk to someone, and I was readily available.
Through the communication I was doing a lot of listening, which put me in the position to observe. I noticed, in the restaurant that while it was really busy and nosy, we completely ignored the sounds of the other diners. Our motives were to talk to each other, not to hear what was going on around us, which made our perceptions have a lot of selection. I also noticed that while we started out as her being my boss in a professional-type setting, she and I became friends. In that way, I don’t think that that side of our first impressions of each other lasted.
May 19, 2010
Tonight I was talking to Alex about my plans for college in the future. We ended up fighting. A lot. Several times during the argument one of us would say something that the other perceived as offensive or rude. At these times in the argument, I would make an effort to improve my perception accuracy, by checking that he meant what I thought he did.
I think this helped the fight from escalating more, so in that aspect, by asking if he meant what I thought he did, helped my accuracy. I found my problem in when he meant what I thought he meant, and it was hurtful, or when he meant something different but I while I clarified, I still remembered what I thought he had meant, and I let that affect me.