Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Family Relations

Family.  I'm both cursed and lucky enough to have more than the average person.  I have multiple sets of parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles.
I've been building more into these relationships that I value... and sometimes it's so easy and effortless.  I get so much joy from talking to my newly (relatively) discovered aunt and grandma.  They compliment my life and bring me such joy.
Other relationships are so hard.  When things are good, they are so good.  When they are bad, they seem to rob me of all my energy and attention for anything else.
In my head I know what I want these relationships to look like, and I work my ass off to make them what I want-- what I need them to be.  But there are other people in the equation.  Sometimes they don't want to play the role I want for them, sometimes they want to but are unable.
Some families seem so effortless- they just love each other and that's the bottom line.  No resentful competitions.  No mental illness.  No crazy.  No dysfunction.  Or maybe I just don't see it because I'm not there, in their family.

I feel one of the most important things in this world are the people who are your family and who you choose to make your family.  I sometimes feel those who fill that role in my life, don't want me in that role in their life-- except when convenient.

Sometimes I wish family relations came simpler- tied up and delivered in a sweet package with a bow.  I guess I've been watching too much TV if I expect that.

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